Monday, September 28, 2009

Death by hors d'oeuvres

A quick story for the beasts who feed on blogs.

So the company I work for has this client who threw a party in Times Square. Nobody wanted to attend so I decided to take one for the team and represent for our firm. I also roped my colleague into going too. He's around the same age as me and we always have a good time drinking free booze and feasting on hor d'oeuvres at these types of events. So we show up and there's this whole wine tasting theme which is cool. I try the white wine and it sucks.. I'm pretty pissed because the red wine will def stain my braces so I can't taste it. I do however, score a glass of champagne!! Nice. It was the good stuff too.

I spot the first tray of treats coming out of the kitchen and get ready to dig in. I keep a little mirror on hand just in case I need to get things out of my teeth lol. So the waitress brings out a little tray of mini burgers. I'm not sure if you know but these things are a HUGE hit at any corporate event, they are soo good. So the poor waitress gets bombarded with hungry analysts and traders. I swoop in just in time to grab the last mini burger. She turns back to the kitchen defeated, she never made it to the middle of the room.

So my colleague and I post up near the kitchen and decide we'll just take the treats as each waitress passes through. There were about 15 other people with the same master plan. The servers soon wisened up and began holding the trays high above their head and speed walking past us to get to the people on the other side of the room. We let them get away as long as it wasn't with mini burgers. (One guy grabbed the waitresses' arm and snapped up the mini burger in a vulture- esque fashion. Yes, its that serious)

So out came these little tuna things on crackers. It was like a thin crispy wafer type cracker. It looked good.. nice and bite size. I popped it in my mouth.. chewed twice.. swallow.. then it started. I didn't chew it enough.. a piece of the damn cracker when down my throat.. and it was scratching the crap out of my espophagus.. I could feel it going all the way down. The thing with the spacers in the back of my teeth is.. it makes it hard to really chew the way you're supposed to. I had pretty much given up on chewing and my main goal this past week is to just get food in my belly. So I run to the bathroom thinking that I just tore my throat open with a cracker and I start to gag a little (i know gross) then it goes down. I convince myself that my stomach acid will desolve the cracker. I rinse with listerine they had in the ladies room, vanilla mint.. good stuff. Back to the party I go.

So thats the long drawn out story of the lesson I learned : chew your food!

Going back to Ortho Wed. I'll let you know what Dr. Hottie says.

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