Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Braces- Buy the whole set!

So here's an update on visit #2--

I walk in and the first person I see is Dr. Hotness!! Whew.. I don't know if its because I cleaned my glasses or he was just well rested but homeboy looked good. You know how doctors wear a suit but the tie isn't tied and they look all professional but casual?? LOL yeah. I know I'm practically married but a girl can look right?? Anyways I found out he's married with a 2yr old little girl.. whomp.

So when I walk in I smile and I look at him and ask "so you ready to torture me doctor?" (I know I'm an ass) He replies.. "I'll be really gentle, I promise".. yeahhhh.. hahahahaha

Okay so I get in the chair and at first I really annoyed because I get a different girl working on me and I really like the last one.. I like to stick with the same people for everything. Hair, nails, obgyn, general doctor, boyfriend.. lol.. everything. I didn't want to offend her though so I just let it be. Big mistake.. she was sooo rough on me. I had to move that tube thingy that sucks ur spit out because she jammed into the side of my mouth and it was hurting me. I think Dr. Hottie saw me squirming because he eventually came over and said "I got it".. I immediately calm down once he starts working. He jokes with me. Ms. Rough Hands just sits there. Its all good.

They put these molar bands around my back teeth which is why I had the "spacers".. the spacers make room for them to put the bands. It all makes sense now. yay. lol. Then he put the brackets on the rest then the wire and ligs (rubber rings). I got white ligs this time because apparently they don't stain as fast. we shall see. The stupid receptionist is drinking coffee. I'm so jealous. ugh. My bite feels really really weird. Like I'm not biting down all the way.. its awkward.

I need to learn how to eat alll over again.. not that I was doing really well before. If you remember, I almost killed myself with a cracker. So I came home and ate and I bit my cheek twice.. it hurts. I get pissed. I give up. I realize I really have to be careful and figure out what I'm doing wrong.. or maybe I need to slow down and stop shoveling food in. That might work as well.

I look in the mirror to clean things up and I notice that on my top wire, there are these little 3 stripes.. like 3 markings. Its weird. I hate it. It begins to annoy me. So I call up the doctor and I tell him, he says come in and he will look at it. I'm going to make them change the wire, I don't care what the marks are but they look weird. Its bad enough I gotta adjust to the braces, now they got stripes. No. That won't work. So back I go to torture them this time. I'm also going to specifically request that they not let that chick with the hulk hogan hands lay a finger on me.

Lets see.. I think thats it for now. I'll let you know if they give me a hard time about changing the wire. (they better not). Here's some pics of the braces with white ligs and the molar bands- the green stuff around the molar bands is the "cement" they use to bond it to your teeth. I also tried to take a pic of my striped wire ugh.. Enjoy.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Death by hors d'oeuvres

A quick story for the beasts who feed on blogs.

So the company I work for has this client who threw a party in Times Square. Nobody wanted to attend so I decided to take one for the team and represent for our firm. I also roped my colleague into going too. He's around the same age as me and we always have a good time drinking free booze and feasting on hor d'oeuvres at these types of events. So we show up and there's this whole wine tasting theme which is cool. I try the white wine and it sucks.. I'm pretty pissed because the red wine will def stain my braces so I can't taste it. I do however, score a glass of champagne!! Nice. It was the good stuff too.

I spot the first tray of treats coming out of the kitchen and get ready to dig in. I keep a little mirror on hand just in case I need to get things out of my teeth lol. So the waitress brings out a little tray of mini burgers. I'm not sure if you know but these things are a HUGE hit at any corporate event, they are soo good. So the poor waitress gets bombarded with hungry analysts and traders. I swoop in just in time to grab the last mini burger. She turns back to the kitchen defeated, she never made it to the middle of the room.

So my colleague and I post up near the kitchen and decide we'll just take the treats as each waitress passes through. There were about 15 other people with the same master plan. The servers soon wisened up and began holding the trays high above their head and speed walking past us to get to the people on the other side of the room. We let them get away as long as it wasn't with mini burgers. (One guy grabbed the waitresses' arm and snapped up the mini burger in a vulture- esque fashion. Yes, its that serious)

So out came these little tuna things on crackers. It was like a thin crispy wafer type cracker. It looked good.. nice and bite size. I popped it in my mouth.. chewed twice.. swallow.. then it started. I didn't chew it enough.. a piece of the damn cracker when down my throat.. and it was scratching the crap out of my espophagus.. I could feel it going all the way down. The thing with the spacers in the back of my teeth is.. it makes it hard to really chew the way you're supposed to. I had pretty much given up on chewing and my main goal this past week is to just get food in my belly. So I run to the bathroom thinking that I just tore my throat open with a cracker and I start to gag a little (i know gross) then it goes down. I convince myself that my stomach acid will desolve the cracker. I rinse with listerine they had in the ladies room, vanilla mint.. good stuff. Back to the party I go.

So thats the long drawn out story of the lesson I learned : chew your food!

Going back to Ortho Wed. I'll let you know what Dr. Hottie says.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Feedback on adult braces

I just want to quickly address a few responses I've gotten to my braces.

Response #1- "You're 26, you've had the gap your whole life, why now?"
Response #2- "You look fine why are doing this?"
Response #3- "You should be comfortable with the gap by now."

I'll address all three of these because they all annoyed me for different reasons.

First, I'm 26 not 76. Yeah I'm not 15 yrs old but since when are people not allowed to get braces after 21 yrs old? Is there a law that says once you're legally of age to drink you're banned from braces as well? Yes indeed I have had this gap my entire life and I've loved it dearly. I've always cherished my smile and felt it fit my character perfectly. That being said I still don't appreciate the assumption that I'm "too old" to do anything. It almost had the same condescending tone that an older lady would use on a 17 year old mom."you're too young to have a baby!" she'd say pointing her crinkly finger.. Listen, people do many things at ages that society deems inappropriate - from having sex to drinkin liquor -but I don't think getting braces falls into that category. Lets get real.

Second, I know I look fine. The comment "you look fine" assumes that I don't think I look fine. Wrong again bitches. I know look fine duhhh.. Anyone that knows me knows how narcissistic I am lol. I'm the epitomy of self-love and conceit. And rightly so, I'm fly. You know it and I know it. lollll.. Ok maybe that's not always a good thing, but its who I've always been.

Lastly, I was always comfortable with the gap, which is why I've always had a big ass smile on my face.. and that is definitely not the reason why its being closed.

Let me explain. The real reason I'm closing it is because I know what the gap will become. I've inherited this trait from my mother. My mother is now 51 years old. She, like me, enjoyed her beautiful smile through her teens, twenties and even early thirties. She was absolutely stunning! (Thats where I get it from lol) But as she got older, the gap got wider... and wider... and WIDER. Now it looks.. how do I say.. not that great. lol. Don't get me wrong, she's still very pretty but its just not flattering like it used to be. Inevitably, this will be me. Genetics are funny like that. And while I could wait until I'm forty to get braces (wonder what people would say then!) instead I am going to avoid the whole widening process and I've decided prevention is the best solution.

Finally, I say to all the people who have served up these ridiculous responses, think about what you're saying before making comments like that to anyone. Because like all things in life, there's always more to a story than what meets the eye. My daddy always said.. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me... then again in this case the only asses are you.. not me. haha.. I shall return soon with more stories of toothaches, until then... Enjoy.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Braces - Day 3

So today I woke up and my mouth felt like it was on fire. Its weird because when I'm asleep I feel nothing but as soon as I sit up. BOOM!! haha. I rinsed with salt water to soothe my gums. It helped a little bit... I popped a few pills and had some oatmeal for breakfast. These spacers in my back teeth are the devil. I feel like I have little trolls sitting in between my back teeth pushing them apart. Damn you spacer trolls!

I also ate Ramen noodles today. I haven't had that in forever and it brought back some college memories. Chillin in the dorm.. too lazy to go out or too broke to buy food.. Ramen always saved the day.

Oh some people have asked what type of braces I have. They are called Radiance braces. Apparently they don't stain because they're made from a "crystal" like substance. Sounds magical right? Yeah. lol. So if you drink coffee the brackets won't stain. Here's the catch though. There are these small tiny rubber rings called ligatures that they put around each bracket to hold it in place. Those are also clear but they stain. So you could potentially end up with a yellowish ring around each bracket... not sexy. But the good thing is they do change the ligs everytime you go in for a tightening. I love coffee so I plan to binge on coffee right before each tightening.

I also had people ask why I didn't get Invisilign. For Invisilgn you really need to wear the trays all the time. You are supposed to wear them 20- 22 hours a day. So basically you got 2-4 hours a day to take those babies out so you can eat. I also heard if you don't clean the trays correctly they smell. eek. I think if you are really diligent then you should think about Invisilign because the treatment time is the same as braces and they are very descreet. Buttt if you are a slacker like me then the treatment could take forever. One other thing I heard about Invisilign is that it isn't that good at moving the roots of your teeth. So if you have a fairly significant gap like me, the bottoms of the teeth would move in first which will look pretty damn funny. So in the end I chose the regular braces but I couldn't do metal.. that would have been too traumatizing. lol

Others have asked, emotionally, how I feel about my braces. Honestly I felt self conscious the first day and I didn't really want to smile. But I got over that pretty fast. Three dudes have already said my braces are "cute". I don't know about all that, they may have been pedophiles. But I do think they're not as bad as they feel. They feel enormous but they really aren't. And if you think about it, you look the same.. its not cosmetic surgery, just braces. Everyday I feel little better about the way they look.

Here's a few pics taken by the ortho. They take pics in the office and load them to a personalize website they give to you so you can track progress. Pretty neat. Next Update will be when I come back from getting the rest of the braces on my back teeth on Oct 1st. See ya.

Braces - Day 2

Ok I'll quickly talk about Day 2. In general it sucked. I had so much work to do at work and on top of it I had to learn how to eat with these train tracks on my teeth. I had oatmeal in the morning which was easy to eat but got all caught up in the braces so I had to go to the bathroom to get all the little pieces out. Nice. Good way to start the damn day. Ok then fast foward to lunch. I chose soup.. seems easy right? I chose tomato basil with rice. I get back to the office with it and suddenly my whole mouth aches.. I'm miserable. I take advil. As i wait for that to kick in my boss come to ask me to do some crap. I just squint my eyes and clearly look totally unhappy. He ignores this. His wife is about to have a baby any minute so he has other shit on his mind. Understandable. I didnt tell him about the braces. I dont know if he noticed. I dont care. Advil kicks in. I try to eat. The soup is good but the damn rice keeps trying to take a trip up braces road so again I'm in the bathroom cleanin the little shits. ugh. Ok back to work I went.

After work I'm on the 5 train.. pain is back. My teeth feel like they're falling out. I drag into the house and steal my boyfriend's Ibprofen 800 that he got back when he had his tooth pulled. I felt a thousand times better!! Who invented these lovely drugs?? I want to meet them and kiss them. Ok next stop cheecake factory!! I have mashed potatoes and chicken, I was so hungry I really didn't care about getting food in my braces so I killed the mashed potatoes in 2 seconds. I had to cut up the chicken. Deelishh. The picture here is actually a pic I found online of the chicken and biscuits I had from cheesecake factory! See ya later.

Braces - Day 1

Okay so day one was nerve racking. I sat there at the dentist thinking "I can't believe I'm going to do this!" I saw a bunch of little kids running around all braced out so I was pretty sure I could deal... I'm 26 right? Well I went in there and they had these young women ready to put on my "brackets". She looked about my age which made me comfortable because she was cool and she started explaining what she'd do next. I also felt really uncomfortable because she was my age and she was really cool. haha. The stupid dentist was walking around "supervising".

Lets talk about my Orthodontist Dr. A for a second. First, he's very hot. The first time I met him, I was slightly distracted by his hotness and I may have even been more swayed to get braces because the thought of looking at this man every six weeks seemed kinda worth it. Then I started talking to him. He's really socially awkward and I'm not sure how he became a doctor. Don't they teach doctors how to speak to patients? He's not reassuring at all, he doesn't explain things clearly, he has no personality and the only time I'm not annoyed is when he's not speaking. That said, he's still veryyyy hot. I also ripped him a new asshole for not telling me about these "spacers" they were going to put in between the back of my teeth. I like how they always leave out the shitty parts of the whole braces process. His response to my cursing him out: he stared at the ground and says "I'm sorry, don't hate me". WTF kinda doctor is that? Jeez. Punkass. I have a feeling me and him are gonna have it out over the next 12-16 months.. oh yeah and he originally told me it would take 18 months so who knows. . (I secretly like abusing him.. is that sick?)

Anyway back to the braces .. She cleans my teeth then puts on glue and sticks the brackets on. The all mighty Dr. A comes over to make sure they're centered and perfect then the lovely lady dries the glue and sticks the wires in and tightennnss the crap out of my six front teeth. Its not over yet though. She asks the doc if I need "spacers" or "seperators" and he says yes and walks out of the room. I stop her and yell for him to "get back in here" and proceed to put dude through the ringer. The two assistants giggle. Next she sticks these metal things in between my back teeth and it feels like i have food stuck in between my teeth. She tells me I can't take them out for two weeks. Its awful. I walk out and Dr. A tries to smile at me. I roll my eyes but smile when I turn my back. Back to the bronx I go.. I was starvinggg! I tried to eat rice and beans my boyfriend bought from the Spanish spot.. It was hard to chew but I basically swallowed it down. Off to bed. Still no pain just alot of weird pressure..